Called the RE yesterday, looks like we are very close to starting the inject stims for my cycle. I affectionately call the injects Gut Shots since I give them to myself in the abdomen. I've been on bcp for 2 weeks and will go in for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on Monday morning. I'm getting nervous about all the things that can go wrong with this cycle.
What if my lining isn't good on Monday?
What if they don't see any antral follicles?
What if my estrogen never rises?
What if I the follicles don't grow?
What if the follicles grow too fast?
What if the follicles stop growing?
What if my lining tanks and all the meds went to waste?
What if every follicle is empty and I'm totally out of eggs? (Can that even happen? If it can, I'm a candidate for it because everything most unlikely to happen- happens to me.)
My oh my, seem to be a bit of a downer lately. Bcp's do that to me, I feel worse on bcp than all the injects combined. This is why I never took birth control for long- thus resulting in my diagnosis of high fsh and failing ovaries, according to my sister's ob/gyn. Apparently, her doctor told her she dodged a bullet by being on bcp for years. The birth control kept her ovaries quiet and in check. Me, not so lucky. Her doctor, (who has never met me, never saw my medical chart, etc...) diagnosed me from afar telling my very fertile sister that if I had been on bcp all those years I'd be fertile now, like her. Nice. Of course, I take this all with a grain of salt since I've been to some of the best doctors in the Midwest who reportedly have no idea why my fsh is so high.
Very soon I will write a post about my diagnosis, high fsh. Right now, as I'm gearing up to start growing follicles for my ivf, I just don't have the nerve to jump back into the last 3 horrific years that got me here. More to come, later. Maybe, much later. If you really can't wait, google "high fsh." It ain't pretty but, thankfully, it's also not common at the age of 32, which is when I was diagnosed.
Onward and upward.
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