Saturday, March 04, 2006

The Photograph of a Lifetime

Officially in survival mode now, both of us, my embryo and me. I'm not sure how strong this embryo is or how long it will live, but it was alive and growing when it was put into my body. If it doesn't survive, at least we've had a brief bit of time together. I'm grateful for that.

If this embryo does not make it, I will not know when it passes away. I will only be able to detect it's absence if the pregnancy test in ten days comes back negative. It is painful knowing that even now it may already be gone. I'll never have that answer so I will choose not to dwell on it. Instead I'll enjoy the memory of seeing the embryo on the ultrasound as it was put into my body.

We even have a picture of it. A grainy, black and white ultrasound picture of my embryo, a tiny, white speck, being propelled out of a catheter into it's mother's waiting body. The ultrasound tech told us we were having a Coming Home Party as the embryo was placed back in me and I have a real, honest to goodness, picture. I'm grateful for that.

No comments: