Happy Fertility Day!

It's Easter for most of the Christian world. I happen to be Orthodox so we will celebrate next week, but any way you look at it, there is positively NO ESCAPING images of EGGS and BUNNIES! Normally, I'm a fan of all things cute and fuzzy, this year however, not so much. Bunnies and eggs, how did I miss it all these years, this is a FERTILITY holiday! This is an excerpt from an article I found online today,

"Easter falls in the spring, the yearly time of renewal, when the earth renews itself after a long, cold winter. The word Easter comes to us from the Norsemen's Eostur, Eastar, Ostara, and Ostar, and the pagan goddess Eostre, all of which involve the season of the growing sun and new birth. The Easter Bunny arose originally as a symbol of fertility, due to the rapid reproduction habits of the hare and rabbit."

See, I told you, a FERTILITY Holiday. I always wondered how a bunny got connected to Jesus. Now we know, FERTILITY. As I've found out in the last 4 years, fertility is behind everything. There is simply no getting away from it. Lets play a game, name something and I'll connect it to fertility (Kind of like the Kevin Bacon game where you name an actor and connect them back to Kevin Bacon demonstrating that Kevin Bacon is the center of the entertainment universe.) Since we don't have the luxury of your real time input, I'll just throw out a few words that come to mind and play the game solo. No, I won't cheat, I will really give the words that pop into my mind.

Skyscraper (as in tall office building)--> phallic (enough said)

Macintosh --> apple --> Adam and Eve -->birth of the human race

New York --> Big Apple --> See above

Rain --> Native American Rain Dance --> Native American Fertility Dance

Can you see where this is going?

So, now I sulk and watch the annoying Ty Pennington on Extreme Home Makeover, where beautiful people take on fixer-upper homes thereby changing the lives of the families that live in them. Here's my question, when will they come up with Extreme Uterine Makeover?

Oh yeah Ty baby, have I gotta fixer-upper for you.


*Note to reader (and God): I'm really not anti-Easter, only anti-Easter Bunny. Thank goodness Jesus was resurrected because he'd turn over in his grave if he knew what Easter has turned in to...