You Want a Piece of Me!?

Them's fightin' words and they are flyin' round the house these days. I'm on a natural cycle which means no medical intervention at all, just trying for a baby the good old fashioned way. Unfortunately, after almost 4 years of doctors trying to get me pregnant, DH and I almost forgot how to attempt this on our own. Of course, 15 minutes of primetime tv watching will quickly tell us how babies are made (can you believe the things they are putting on tv today?) But, I digress, basically, I think we forgot how to be a nice, happy, supportive-of-each-other couple. Let me be more specific, I've forgotten how to play nice. I've been so irritable since my failed ivf, I can barely stand myself. DH hasn't been Mr.NiceGuy either, but I'll stick to my own faults today.

This past week, I've been grumpy, bored and a cleaning maniac. The latter of which frightens the bejeezus out of DH. When I get on a cleaning streak, he dives under his desk and waves a white flag before the trigger on the windex is unlocked. I seem to have a special radar that allows me to walk into a room and zero in on the items DH has left out of place. If I were to dissect this behavior, I'd say I was trying to maintain as much control as possible since infertility can make one feel totally out of control.

Whatever the cause, I wish I could go back to feeling like myself again. I'm not sure that will happen anytime soon and after so many years of infertility, I'm beginning to forget what the old me was like. Guess I'd better watch my use of the phrase, "You want a piece of me?" I've already lost too many pieces to infertility, pretty soon there will be nothing left.